THE IMPORTANCE OF LOVE LANGUAGES

“Don’t treat people how you yourself would like to be treated, treat people how they themselves want to be treated. There is a big difference…”

What is love? Love means different things for different people for sure. We all have different ways of showing and receiving love. I suppose it all boils down to love language. To me love is action. I can see it’s the same for my husband as well except we take different actions to show we care. I have noticed people have a tendency to express love the same way they would like it expressed towards them.

“I’d say my love language is pretty simple…I inspire meaning I am your muse.

As a muse the contract is simple: You’ll do all the work and I’ll take all the credit.”

When I love someone I tend to see them in their best light. The problem with leaving under a constant “best light” is that falling short is always around the corner. Sooner or later all gods begin to show their human sides.  My kind of love is:

• I direct, encourage and grow. Sounds like a an agent, I know. I believe it’s my duty to advise people closest to me. If that sounds like a high-priestess of hype forgive me, I am a Libra after all…🙄
• I protect by making sure no one takes advantage of or abuse the people I love except myself if course😜. My husband calls it “isolation tactics”😂.
• I multiply by encouraging you to be the best that you can be meaning you won’t have a moment of peace until you go for that promotion…. just like I instructed told you.
• And last but not least I inspire which means I am your muse for better or worse and as a muse, the contract is simple: you’ll do all the work and I’ll get all the credit. Which maybe why dear husband usually calls himself my “appointed caregiver”.💅🐍

My husband’s love language

He likes to do things to make my life easier and to make me feel taken care of. That may mean picking me up at the bus station so I don’t have to take the bus when it’s awfully cold. It can be preparing a nice meal or getting me something I might have expressed a desire for. As you can see this man’s love is fully grounded in the practical. Which makes you wonder about my own love language…but like I said I am his muse, right?😜💅

In the end it’s about loving a person the way they want to be loved and appreciated.

What about you dear readers, do you think love languages are important in relationships? Is it important to understand each other’s love language within a relationship? Please do share. Bisous and talk soon!🐍😘

What’s the weirdest thing your spouse has ever done?

What’s the weirdest thing your spouse has ever done? Were you shocked, impressed or simply disgusted?

“Some things can only be explained by silence or absence. So I chose to disappear from his line of vision for a bit…you know to give him time to reconcile his past idea of me with this new version that does not quite match his expectations 🙄

We all have things we do that seem “normal” to us but may appear “weird” to someone else. Especially when you’re living in close quarters with that much desired other half. Every Little thing you do gets examined and questioned🙈. It’s almost like living with a two-year old who’s always full of questions🙄.

I must say even though I may look perfect I too have some “weird thing” in my closet. Hard to believe I know, since I am just so damn perfect most of the times😇.

I actually remember my husband’s exact face the first time he came face to face with that not so stellar version of me. We were having supper as we usually do most nights while watching some kind of TV show. For us super is usually chicken or fish plus a  salad. That time it was chicken and salad.  We’d just finished demolishing most of a whole chicken when, true to my single-years self, I naturally started chewing on the chicken bones (specifically the thigh bones):

Me: (at this point I am not talking but sounds of chicken bones being crushed and chewed can be heard)🙈

Dear other half: (Not talking at this point either. Staring at me intensely probably both shocked and mesmerized that such small and dainty creature is doted with such strong jaws).

Me: (For those of you interested, the whole process can be a very consuming enterprise. At this point, I am literally in the zone…)

Dear other half: (Still staring at me intensely, still a tiny bit shocked but mostly fascinated.)

Me: (Finally realizing I am not alone):” Are you ok honey?”

Dear other half: “…is it a cultural thing??!!?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Dear other half: “Chewing chicken bones into powder form?!….”

Me: “Well, I…”

He was looking at me like someone who’s just been forced to realize his idol was not only human but a human with questionable behaviour 🧐. I didn’t know what to stay. How do you explain something like that? I couldn’t even explain this to my own damn self even if I wanted to.

Me: “hmmm…yeah…you may be onto something here… Could totally be a cultural thing…”

Dear other half: (still waiting for a logical explanation that’s clearly not coming).

Me: “Well, let me take the plates upstairs so we can have more room here…“

Some things can only be explained by either silence or absence so I decided to disappear from his line of vision for a bit…you know to give him time to reconcile his past idea of me with this new idea of his lovely little wife crushing chicken bones with a vengeance and purpose that would put a horror movie flesh-eating creature to shame. Like he said it could be a cultural thing….who knows?

What about you dear readers? What’s the weirdest thing you or your other half has ever done? Did it change your idea of them? Please do share!

Don’t miss tomorrow’s post on “The best time to say I love you“ in honor of Valentine’s day! Gros bisoux 😘🐍

 

This woman fell for a bloodsucker…

“Where do we draw the line in relationships? At what point must we stop caring and save ourselves? When do we say enough?”

Last week, I came across a very interesting conversation. I am not usually one to eavesdrop but this time the story was so troubling I couldn’t help myself…

So I am sitting in this very nice coffee shop and a young lady sitting right next to me receives a call from a friend. From what I gathered she was apologizing for being MIA since the death of a very close friend. At this point I was just mildly listening, you know, it was mostly background noise. But the conversation sort of veered towards her boyfriend and let me tell you my ears immediately perked up. An impromptu session of boyfriend bashing? It’s none of my business but sign me up please! There’s nothing a girl likes more than a session of he said/she said.

“By the time a professional abuser’s done with you, you’re gonna need weekly blood transfusion plus regular vitamin shots.”

So like I said she’s just lost a very close friend and apparently while she was busy mourning the loss of this very close friend, dear boyfriend was busy rekindling the passion with his ex. When confronted, his excuse? Well, he was suffering from one of his acute bout of low self-esteem which usually prompts him to look for affection and attention wherever he can find it. And this time he happened to have found it in the very loving and ready arms of his ex! After much heartache and debate, the poor girl decides to forgive him and help him get through this provided he seeks professional help.

Naturally like any self-respecting person listening in from the side line I was offended and disgusted with said boyfriend. If what she’s saying is correct, what this guy really deserves is to find himself naked in the streets on the coldest night of Winter. Maybe then he’ll realize how it feels to be abused by someone you trust and love?

Now listen to this: The poor girl must constantly keep an eye on him lest of course he feels neglected and go back to his ex. Naturally with all this going on she feels like she doesn’t have enough space to grieve and take proper care of herself…. And guess who called while she was on the phone? Mr. professional abuser himself. He wanted her to get him breakfast. I even got to take a close enough look at the bloodsucker while he was waiting outside for his breakfast and while good looking enough, his face looked lame and conceited.

I pitied the poor girl who probably thinks she’s being a supporting girlfriend while she’s clearly nothing but another host. I am not a violent person but listening in I felt like yelling at her: “Leave this bloodsucker now or you’re gonna need a blood transfusion and vitamin shots by the time he’s done with you.” Of course I did none of that cause I felt it wasn’t my place.

I admit it was hard to just sit by and listen without doing anything. In fact, I found myself still thinking about her a week later. She probably wasn’t stupid. You could hear it in her voice that her heart knew this was not a normal situation but I guess she was just so lost and in such grief at the moment that she just wasn’t thinking clearly.

I prayed she opens her eyes and realize he does not deserve her. I really do. The whole thing felt like standing by and watching someone drown but I couldn’t logically jump in with a bunch of unsolicited advice. Anyways, the whole thing was just so sad….

What about you dear readers? What do you make of the whole situation? Where do we draw the line in relationships? At what point must we stop caring and save ourselves? When do we say enough? Was this girl stupid or just lost? Was the boyfriend a professional abuser or just at his lowest? Is this even the whole truth? It would be interesting to know what you guys think! Gros bisous and talk soon!