My first time…First dates and the lies we tell

My first time meeting my now husband

I was talking to my husband the other day. He had been pestering me for weeks about my book and my posting more often on this space:

Husband: “When are you going to finish that book of yours?”

Me: “Soon….I have to rework the entire thing…I have plenty of ideas…you know…”

Husband: “That’s not what you said on our first date….”

Surprised he would even remember, I laughed. He laughed in return.

Me: “Well, we both said things that did not turn out to be quite true…you for example…”

Husband:”No, I did not lie!”

Me: “Do you really remember our first date the exact way it happened or is this just your favorite version of it?”

We both smiled……

First dates and the lies we tell….I remember our first date like it was yesterday. We met at a coffee shop, a second cup to be exact. I told myself a coffee shop is safe, if he turns out to be a total dick I can escape quickly and call it a narrow escape. To be frank, I don’t remember half the stuff he said. I was way too busy rehearsing my half-baked truths. You’d think I was preparing to take a lie detector test or something:

Future husband: “So what do you do, if you don’t mind me asking”

I spit out a sentence so basic in its simplicity and so encompassing, it could make you puke. A sentence that means nothing and everything. If you say that kind of sentence in a penetrated way and you happen well-dressed, you’re pretty much guaranteed to appear intelligent.

Me: “Well, I took some time off of work to finish a project that’s very close to my heart.”

A little bit of silence to let my tortured artist essence penetrate every fiber of his being. I am not just anybody, I have a big hairy audacious goal that I am working towards and you better take notice, you mere mortal. Being out of work for a good six months with bills piling up was in no way as glamorous or enticing as I made it look. I was on a very efficient diet: Noodles with a side of stress. I was working on the book as a way to escape the stress.

Me:”I am currently working on a novel….”

Future husband: “Cool….what is it about?”

Me: “Well, it’s about having the courage to follow your dream and not let society dictate who you are and who you can be”.

At this point I could not resist a proud grin. The sort of grin you have when you just aced a school exam because you studied hard. Now that I’ve aced the first few minutes and established myself as a woman of substance worth pursuing, it was my turn to ask questions. So I begin, in a relaxed way.

Me:” I am sorry I was so focused on myself. What about you? I mean I saw on your e-harmony profile that you work in video game. Any side project?

Future husband: ” I am currently working an an album with a singer friend of mine. We have a couple of roughly edited songs…”

I didn’t hear anything he said after that simply because I was off to soulmate land.

I could already see myself flying on private jets, walking around in expensive sunglasses and bags looking slightly out of touch and bitchy. To me this was a match made in heaven. Two creatively driven individuals getting together as one in order to fuel each other’s dreams. (Insert David Bowie and Iman emoji here. I’ll wait).

Needless to say that’s not how it all turned out.

He discovered my real dream was to live like the favorite pet of billionaire, spoiled and entirely provided for and I discovered that while he does have a couple of roughly edited song, he only works on that album every full moon. I discovered it was pointless to jump his back every time there’s a job opening in a faraway land and he learned not to be offended by the amount of time I spend in front of a mirror. He learned to be patient when I complain over and over about things I can but refuse to change and I learn to laugh on demand at his favorite jokes no matter how many times I’ve heard them. As you can see a match made in heaven.

I am learning daily the true meaning of loving somebody for exactly who they are and not what we want them to be because sometimes what we want them to be is not necessarily what they want to be. At some point we have to accept that.

Overall, we found love because we’re married now 🙂

What about you dear readers? I would love to hear about your personal stories and hide it all turned out. Gros bisous!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019!!

Oh what a year 2018 have been! Lots of changes: Some I personally instigated and some I tried to avoid but which were nonetheless still thrust upon me like a forced, unavoidable cold shower.

As you see from the pic below, I finish the year strong, sound and asleep 🙂

10 min before the New Year! Courtesy of dear husband who makes it a point to document my every move!

We had family over for Christmas and a very cute visitor ( my mother-in-law’s dog) which needed to be constantly walked. See pic below.

I had made the mistake during one of our many food coma of promising I would help walk her during the day. Judging from the way I was dressed I thank God none of our neighbors were out that day or I would have certainly lost my “always well dressed” crown. Needless to say I walked her mostly at the back of the house. Unconscious of my fashion dilemma the little rascal kept insisting we go for a walk around the neighborhood.

I am welcoming 2019 with open arms and I am super glad I have made it to the other side.  In 2018 I made a lot of progress in many areas like my writing.  I was able to attend two writing workshops at Quebec Writer’s Federation: One on Dangerous characters and the other one on food writing. I was also able to organize six writing dates with other fellow writers. I want to continue on that path.

As for my novel I realized I didn’t have a first draft but rather a bunch of scenes. This is what happens when you get creative without a plan. Currently reading, Outlining your novel by K. M. Weiland to try and sort through the mess.

The main focus for 2019 will be health, nurturing family and focusing on getting a real first draft of my novel.

In 2019, I will also try and enjoy the ride and not stress too much just like our cat Cleo 🙂

Bisous and see you next week!